Are you worried about someone ending their life?
Trust your instincts. If you are worried about someone, start a conversation. It is better to ask than to stay silent.
If there is immediate risk to life or safety
If you are worried about an adult, child or young person, stay with them if you can do so safely and call NHS 111, selecting the mental health option, for urgent support.
Adults can call Samaritans free on 116 123 at any time and, if they are aged 18 or over, visit a Kent and Medway Safe Haven for drop-in mental health support. Visit www.mhm.org.uk/kent-safe-havens to find the nearest one.
Children and young people can call Kent and Medway Children and Young People’s Mental Health Service on 0800 011 3474, call Childline free on 0800 1111 if they are under 19, or text YM to 85258. If there is an immediate danger to life or safety, call 999 or go to A&E.
Signs that someone may be struggling
A person thinking about suicide may not always show obvious signs. However, you may notice:
- talking about feeling hopeless, trapped or like a burden
- withdrawing from people or activities
- a significant change in mood, sleep, eating or behaviour
- finding it difficult to cope with everyday life
- talking or posting about death, suicide or not wanting to be here
- giving away possessions or saying goodbye
- increased use of alcohol or drugs
- recent loss, trauma, relationship difficulties, financial pressure or other major stress.
There may be no obvious signs. If you are worried, it is okay to ask directly.
How to start the conversation
You do not need to have all the answers. What matters most is showing that you care and are willing to listen.
You could say:
- “I have noticed that you do not seem like yourself. You seem sad. Would you like to talk about what is happening for you?””
- “I am worried about you.”
- “Are you thinking about suicide?”
- “Are you thinking about ending your life?”
Asking directly about suicide does not increase the risk of suicide or put the idea into someone's head. It can give someone permission to speak openly about what they are experiencing and help them feel heard, understood and supported.
If they say yes
- Stay calm and listen without judgement.
- Take what they say seriously.
- Work together to identify what may help keep them safe right now.
- Explore who they can contact for support, what has helped them cope previously and what they feel would help now.
- Help them call NHS 111 and select the mental health option.
- Call 999 if there is immediate risk to life or safety.
- Stay with them, or help arrange for another trusted person to stay with them, if it is safe to do so.
- Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts secret. Explain that you may need to involve people or services who can help keep them safe.
- Check in again after they have received support.
If you are worried about a child or young person
Take any concerns seriously.
Listen calmly, use clear and age-appropriate language, and involve a parent, carer or safeguarding professional unless doing so would place the child or young person at greater risk.
Seek urgent help if you are concerned about immediate safety.
